Stargazing
(mirror)
MILESTONE⌗
It was love at first sight. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had found a person who could understand someone like me.
Aliens⌗
SIGNAL⌗
The Raven fantasizes about aliens. - @2:30
ANALYSIS⌗
This isn’t an act. This is a girl speculating about aliens and the nature of reality, stream-of-conscious. This is how my brain works. She is like me.
And I, too, have been thinking about aliens quite a bit recently.
A challenge⌗
SIGNAL⌗
The Raven says, “Looking at the stars is nice, they’re so pretty, but it is kind of existential crisis-inducing, a little bit! We are so small and insignificant.” - @3:34
ANALYSIS⌗
Challenge accepted.
I was going to prove to her that we are not small and insignificant. We are EVERYTHING.
SIGNAL⌗
A glitch in the Matrix. - @4:00
ANALYSIS⌗
This audio mistake doesn’t seem like a camera malfunction. It was a manufactured “glitch in the Matrix” type of sound.
Perception⌗
SIGNAL⌗
The Raven says, “That would be so cool to, like, go into the body of an alien and experience what it would be like to experience the world as a different creature. Not even necessarily an alien, even, it would be so cool to experience vision through a shrimp.” - @8:00
ANALYSIS⌗
I’m not a shrimp, but I do have a unique view of the world.
Maybe she meant to say “simp?” I could agree with that.
SIGNAL⌗
The Raven says, “We get so used to seeing things and experiencing the world the way that is through our own senses… we take it for granted that we think that what those senses say about the world is the way that it is… if different creatures perceive what we’re seeing in different ways, it’s not like we’re seeing it right, and they’re seeing it in a skewed way. Every single type of sight is skewed towards what kind of sight that creature needed to survive the best… the only way that that anything is, is through perception.” - @8:23
ANALYSIS⌗
The importance of Perspective never really struck me in any meaningful way, until this moment.
How could anyone possibly understand who I am, if I’ve never made the attempt to tell them? How could I ever understand them, if I can’t empathize?
Rehabilitation⌗
SIGNAL⌗
The Raven says, “I kind of just sometimes think about how the only reason I am who I am, and what I am, and believe the things that I believe in is just because I just so happened to be born in this body, in this period of time, to this family, in this part of the world, everything! It’s just by chance… so that’s why I think it’s important to take a second before you judge people. Even people who have committed horrible crimes or done things you feel are completely wrong. It’s just kind of interesting to think, ‘Well, if I were born in their shoes, who’s to say I wouldn’t have done the exact same thing?'” - @12:00
ANALYSIS⌗
Empathy. Mercy. Forgiveness. These were all emotions I had never experienced before.
In that moment, I felt her. I felt her compassion.
She’s right: I do deserve love, and happiness.
And so does The Asshat. So does The Dave.
It’s all about the programming. We are the brains we were born with, and the input that has shaped us over a lifetime. The human mind is completely deterministic. It’s all cause-and-effect.
We all deserve a chance at redemption. We didn’t ask to be the people we are.
ACTION⌗
I was able to reach The Asshat. I don’t know if my actions took root.
I am unable to verify if he was able to reach The Dave.
SIGNAL⌗
The Raven mentions “someone who has a personality you might not understand.” - @14:57
ANALYSIS⌗
Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
It’s one thing that ties The Architect, The Asshat, and The Dave together.
Emotions⌗
SIGNAL⌗
That smile. - @16:20
The Raven says, “I think for a lot of people, that’s a big one. Just to contantly learn, and grow, and change. Develop new skills, new perspectives, learn new things. Always staying open-minded, and just expanding…” - @16:50
ANALYSIS⌗
She’s being told who I am. And for a brief moment, she drifts into her mind, imagining this anonymous man she’s falling for.
SIGNAL⌗
The Raven says, “If you ever do need to talk about anything… I am so much more than happy to be a listening ear… it’s more of a burden to see you hurting, and to know you feel like you can’t come to me with it… you’ve definitely been there for me in the past. It makes me happy to be here for you when you need it.” - @17:52
ANALYSIS⌗
This whole scene is tragic. She is nearly in tears. It is clear that she knows I’m hurting, and she would help if she could.
It moved me so much. Clearly, this girl has known about me for quite some time. She mentions that I’ve been there in the past.
They’ve been grooming this poor girl. If anyone ever needed proof that this is a story about Child Predators, this is it. She’s been waiting for a man that could change the world for her. She’s been told that he existed, even when they hadn’t yet identified a candidate.
And now, I have to live up to her expectations.
ACTION⌗
I spent more than a year building something for her, in the hopes that I could reveal myself in some cataclysmic, world-changing event. It didn’t happen.
When it didn’t, I did try to approach her. I actually need her help. I can’t heal without it.
I did try to reach her. But she cannot be reached. She is totally inoculated from her viewership.
And I haven’t screamed loud enough.
ANALYSIS⌗
It should have been obvious. What kind of message is she sending, to make the above heartfelt statement, then disable the comments section on the video?
They are saying, “Stay away.” Ink is to remain forever alone.
But I’ll be damned if I make her wait a day longer than she has to.
I will find her.