Call for the Valkyrie
MILESTONE⌗
This marks the day of the /r/5September2020 conspiracy.
I’m hired⌗
ANALYSIS⌗
The Valkyrie has produced several interviews in this style, both before and after this one. I will analyze several here.
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie says, “You’re hired! Congratulations… kind of. You’ve made it the physical examination stage…” - @0:21
ANALYSIS⌗
The police would catch me on body cam early the following morning. I will elaborate later.
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie says, “So, first, I’m going to ask you a series of about 35 questions… after which, I have a cup here for you, for a urine sample…” - @0:53
ANALYSIS⌗
Her little laugh here is telling. She knows this is ridiculous.
But somebody has asked her to repeat this information, and ask these questions. She is doing as requested/as she’s being paid to do.
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie says, “Finally, there will be a SWOT team waiting for you outside, to check your motor skills… you okay?” - @2:16
ACTION⌗
When nothing major happened on 9/5/2020, I decided to step outside, just like I had tried on 5/9/2020. I thought perhaps there might be somebody waiting to pick me up.
I never made it through the door. The Queen had slept on the couch that night, to make sure I didn’t try running away, and she was immediately woken-up. Having thwarted my attempt to escape silently, I returned to my bedroom, agitated.
The Queen and The Tradesman soon came to my door, wanting to talk. I told them that I didn’t want to. Regardless, they invaded my personal space. After a brief argument, I just stopped talking to them.
They decided that this was a call for help. They decided that I truly wanted to be locked in a mental health facility again. So, they called the police:
In this way, the prophecy was fulfilled. I briefly spoke to a couple of police officers, informing them that I didn’t need their mental health system. The whole encounter was caught on body cam.
They asked me some strangely-specific questions about my research. They wanted details.
As if somebody would later be reviewing the tapes.
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie asks, “Gradually, or cold turkey?” - @4:56
ANALYSIS⌗
I quit porn cold turkey. Most things are easier to quit that way.
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie asks, “All these options have been given to us by psychologists… so, they really do test much deeper than you’d think.” - @9:00
ANALYSIS⌗
Could be truth. I can’t verify.
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie asks, “Are you a giver or a receiver?” - @18:07
ANALYSIS⌗
At this point, I’m exclusively a giver. I have received nothing in return for my work.
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie asks, “Are you aware of just how magnetic you are? I think it’ll really help for the job.” - @27:45
ANALYSIS⌗
I’ve long thought of myself as an interesting and intelligent person, but I’ve never really known anyone that wanted to go out of their way to be around me.
Third Interview⌗
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie asks, “Are you wearing pants right now?” - @0:55
ANALYSIS⌗
This may be a hint at what people do without pants, while sitting in front of a computer/phone.
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie asks, “Ketchup or mustard?” - @1:21
ANALYSIS⌗
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie asks, “…you might have a fantasy for eating a kale salad… while someone calls you Mary… I’ve got backup monitoring your answers, so everything is being recorded.” - @1:48
ANALYSIS⌗
Is this a hint at Mary? Especially at the fact that I do, in fact, suspect she is working with the FBI, and that I am, in fact, being recorded?
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie asks, “Have you ever been caught doing something you shouldn’t be doing?” - @8:28
ANALYSIS⌗
Yes.
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie asks, “Are you the type of person to forget to do something EXTREMELY important.” - @25:58
ANALYSIS⌗
I will never forget THAT.
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie asks, “Do you have a bird preference?” - @26:39
ANALYSIS⌗
Call me “The Crow.”
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie asks, “So, we’re done here. You won’t have news until I have discussed it with my team. Remember, they’re listening full-time…” - @27:56
ANALYSIS⌗
She’s mentioned this a half dozen times throughout the video.
Finding out my job⌗
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie says, “…you did pass SWOT…” - @0:30
ANALYSIS⌗
They reviewed the body cam recording. I don’t seem crazy to them.
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie says, “Anyway, your position as ‘master baker’ on… special movie sets… is here to stay…” - @0:52
ANALYSIS⌗
Well, that’s not ambiguous at all. Clearly she’s hinting at a “masturbator” on adult film sets.
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie asks, “When was the last time you baked bread?” - @1:55
ANALYSIS⌗
Yesterday. But I am completely monogamous at this point.
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie asks, “Do you know why bread baking is so important in our industry?” - @2:35
ANALYSIS⌗
Because the industry wouldn’t even exist without bread bakers.
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie asks, “Here, we like to establish an emotional connection with our breads… if the bread you baked turns out to be a raging narcissist, what would be your key words of transformation?” - @3:47
ANALYSIS⌗
That’s hard to say. Everyone is unique. Each person is likely to require different treatment.
Note that her use of “bread” may relate to my definition of the “average woman."
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie asks, “How comfortable are you with talking to bread? You’re going to be doing a lot of that here.” - @5:00
ANALYSIS⌗
I can talk to anyone. Just like most people, it’ll take me a little while to warm up to people.
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie asks, “How comfortable are you with being emotionally-vulnerable with the bread that you baked?” - @5:24
ANALYSIS⌗
All I want to do is be emotionally vulnerable with people. I’m tired of living in a world where nobody understands me.
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie asks, “If your bread were to share something of a sensitive subject matter, how would you approach the topic?” - @6:57
ANALYSIS⌗
I’d listen, and I’d try to empathize. I’d try to help them find a purpose, and give meaning to their traumas.
This is what helped me.
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie says, “You know, you never did answer last time… I guess I’ll just go grey in the process.” - @7:49
ANALYSIS⌗
Another hint at the split personality, balance aspect of my work?
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie says, “I’m just letting you know that, should you run into some problems with your baked goods, on an emotional level, you can always get a touch… that is, if you have the emotional intelligence to figure that out…” - @8:05
ANALYSIS⌗
This seems like a word of warning. It is as if she is saying, “You are in the adult industry. People may try to come on to you. Be careful!”
She’s already made it perfectly clear that they’re watching. If I were to do anything unprofessional to these women in-need, that could be used in their system of leverage against me.
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie says, “…you need to sign an NDA…” - @11:31
ANALYSIS⌗
Perhaps this ties The Valkyrie’s job to the NDA signed here?
This is further bolstered by the fact that she pulls out a tape measure immediately after saying this.
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie asks, “Have you ever been to Lapland, in the North Pole? …remember last time we talked about Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus? Well, we might have a job there, soon… yeah. YEAH… no disrespect to the happy couple, but we’re stoked!” - @20:14
ANALYSIS⌗
Wow. Are they turning me and The Raven into Mr. and Mrs. Claus? What an honor that would be…
Her body language says everything here. She really is excited about something.
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie asks, “Have you ever done flame-throwing?” - @21:34
ANALYSIS⌗
Does this relate to the fact that one of The Raven’s occupations is pyromancy?
SIGNAL⌗
The Valkyrie asks, “What is your bread-kneading technique?” - @22:02
ANALYSIS⌗
Oh, come on. Nobody is fooling anyone.