Two Night

Gone⌗

ANALYSIS⌗

On the day following 5/9 - after nothing of note happened - I was pretty depressed. Never giving up, I began to consider alternative exit plans.

One centered around the concept of “One Day” and “Two Night”, of which I’ve written about at carrotpredator.com and in poetry. The basic idea was that, while extracting two people connected under The Carrot Predator’s implicit exit strategy, you might extract them on two different dates. If 5/9 equates to “One Day,” then perhaps that day would be reserved for people who will remain alone. Perhaps tonight, 5/10, was “Two Night” - and my night to leave with a partner. In this instance, I was thinking my partner would be The Inventor.

Dumb, I know.

I painted an entire picture in my head.

SIGNAL⌗

Just one day prior, SleepStories ASMR released a video. In it, she mentioned several things that seemed meaningful at the time. One was a reference to a cherry tree, of which I connected to this video. The other was a more abstract concept of a person walking into a room, to a desk, opening an old journal, and watching as the pages came to life. She described the awe and majesty that person would feel. - 0:00

ACTIONs⌗

I really wanted to paint this picture for The Inventor, if possible.

To do so, I spent 5/10 cleaning my bedroom, and a building a small shrine to myself. I surrounded my computer with everything I own/care about, as well as the things that weigh me down. It was a shrine to myself. It was me, in memorial. There wasn’t much - but that’s because I don’t need much. I am happy with the few things that I have.

Rather than an open journal, I left the image I drew of the “god hand” drawing his own reality in the center of the desk. The basic idea was this:

I wanted The Inventor to believe, if only for a moment, that her partner had drawn a new world to live in - a world including aliens, which is what she’s always wanted - and then he “stepped” into this world, disappearing forever. She would take some time to explore the partner that used to live here, and she would consider, “Should I follow him down the rabbit hole?” In the end, she would add her own splotch of red to the image, and she would attempt to follow.

Of course, that wouldn’t happen. But I wanted her to have that sense of wonder.

During this time, I would be somewhere else, waiting to return later that evening.

SIGNAL⌗

It was on this day that I was presented with a song on YouTube, called SKYND - “Michelle Carter”. This immediately caught my attention, because I’ve written about Michelle Carter in reference to HollowPoint Organization. Within the song, a particular set of lyrics prompted action from me, “Get in the car, do it early, do it now!”

ACTION⌗

To me, that was a call to action. I had originally intended to wait until the rest of the house were asleep before leaving. Instead, at about 10:30pm, I left the house.

I drove to the gas station, picked up some junk food and a pack of cigarettes, and made my way to the back of a remote doctor’s office. I waited there for about 4 hours - from 11pm to 3:33am, before leaving, defeated.

I had hoped that someone would come get me. During this time, I smoked the entire pack of cigarettes, and just imagined what The Inventor might be going through, if the story played-out in the way I had imagined. Though I never really expected anything to happen, the prior sequence of events prompted me to take action, regardless.

Finally giving-up, I left a 60-second image I had drawn on 5/9 sitting on the sidewalk, alongside a small monument to my mother. At this point, she was in the hospital under an induced coma, and I hoped someone might find it, returning it to her. At the very least, I hoped to plant a seed in some doctor/nurse’s mind, such that they would remember this image, when my story finally begins.

I returned home. The family was scared and disappointed.

But nothing happened.