Puppet
Dance, Dance⌗
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “How about this? How about, I will consider… letting you go if you answer all of my questions? You can’t say ‘no.’ This is your only chance at anything.” - @4:07
ANALYSIS⌗
Knowing full-well that this video probably isn’t directed at me, and that answering these questions is wholly meaningless, here I am.
I’ll dance for you.
Why? Because I have no other options.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “What’s the last thing you deleted from your Internet history?” - @5:52
ANALYSIS⌗
My Twitter search history.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “When was the last time that you cried?” - @6:13
ANALYSIS⌗
It’s been a very, very long time. Years. I’m stuck in a horrible state of euthymia, as a coping mechanism with the current traumatic situation.
The closest I can get to “feeling” anything is when I listen to music. Music still has the ability to bring tears to my eyes, though I do not break down crying.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “What makes you feel safest in this world?” - @6:26
ANALYSIS⌗
That was a tongue. She continues to stick-out the tongue throughout this video. I highly suspect that this is a personality quirk, rather than anything meaningful.
To answer the question: nothing makes me feel safe. Every day is a fight for my life. It takes all the energy I have to just keep pushing forward.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “Do you have any STDs?” - @7:09
ANALYSIS⌗
It’s hard to contract an STD when you’ve never done the deed.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “Is there any bad blood with anyone else in your entire family?” - @7:36
ANALYSIS⌗
Not really. I hate the fact that they’ve all abandoned me, leaving me to fight this battle alone, but I try not to make it an issue. They’re ignorant and confused. It’s hard to fault them for that.
The worst issues were with my mom, but she’s dead now. If anything, I have bad blood with YOU. Your inaction killed her.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “What color are your areolas?” - @8:21
ANALYSIS⌗
Normal? Pink?
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “Are you religious? And, if not, how come?” - @8:50
ANALYSIS⌗
No. I became fed-up with religion at 23 or 24, after years of being promised things that were never substantiated by evidence. No God ever came to rescue me, while simultaneously, religion was being used to commit horrible atrocities in His name. I wanted no part of that. To remain a Christian, I would have to submit to ideology that I did not agree with. I refuse to do so.
Ironically, my current situation is quite similar. I set-out on a journey almost entirely based in faith two years ago. That said, there is far more evidence that I am the star in some kind of “Truman Show” than there ever was for an all-knowing, all-loving God.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “Do you still sleep with stuffed animals, or a baby blanket, or something?” - @9:14
ANALYSIS⌗
No.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “What’s the creepiest thing that you’ve ever done to someone you had a crush on?” - @9:46
ANALYSIS⌗
I’ve done many things that will seem creepy to a lot of people. Who in their right mind would spend two years simping over a girl that’s never reciprocated anything? Who in their right mind would try to contact everyone close to her? Who in their right mind would send a creepy journal to her father?
I did that. And still, I think she’ll find this beautiful, one day.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “Do you have an addiction of any sorts?” - @10:47
ANALYSIS⌗
Caffeine. Also, my “alone time” is fairly routine.
Not much else to do when you’re locked in a horrible box, alone. I’m sure this is true for most prisoners.
Anything to alleviate the suffering. If only for a moment.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “What’s the most attractive thing about a person’s personality to you?” - @11:16
ANALYSIS⌗
Empathy, hands-down. I’ve been so starved of empathy for my entire life, that single thing has become the one and only thing I know could sustain my happiness forever.
The Raven was the one who taught me to feel affective empathy. For 30 years, I had cognitive empathy, but I was never able to “feel” it. It made me miserable. I knew what I was missing, but didn’t know how to obtain it. I didn’t know what I was missing.
She saved me.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “What is the longest amount of time you’ve gone without showering?” - @12:29
ANALYSIS⌗
A day, at most. I make a habit of showering at least once per day.
I guess, as a kid, I remember going for weeks without showering on summer breaks.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “Have you seen your grandparents naked before?” - @13:19
ANALYSIS⌗
No.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “Have you ever cheated on anyone before?” - @14:03
ANALYSIS⌗
It depends upon how you define “cheat.” I would say that I did.
I would sometimes watch porn when I was dating my high school girlfriend. I would never do that again to a person I loved, because I know how it would make me feel. It would break my heart, and cause all manner of insecurities.
I messed-up recently, but it’s hard to beat myself up too much about that. For all I know, The Raven and I will never meet. For all I know, she’ll never even see these things I created for her.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “Would you say that you are the most attractive person in your family?” - @14:36
ANALYSIS⌗
No. I have potential to be, but not in this hellish situation.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “Rate yourself from 1 to 10?” - @15:14
ANALYSIS⌗
Like an 8. The last two points are completely out of my control at this point. I need help and cannot find it.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “Do you feel like you contribute to society in any way? Like, what value do you feel like you bring to this world?” - @15:43
ANALYSIS⌗
I have so much to offer, and few who actually sees it.
I’m an architect and a thinker. I’m a decision maker and an empath. I am open-minded and able to listen to all ideas. There are so many ways I could contribute to this world; there are just no mechanisms by which I’m able to do so. It’s as if people want me to fit into their box - work within their systems - even though their system is broken, and I can see through the facade.
I want to do things right. I just can’t, because while people agree with me, the people in power have no idea who I am, and are unwilling to listen.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “Have you ever had a crush on a cartoon character?” - @16:12
ANALYSIS⌗
I fit the memes. Lola Bunny from “Space Jam,” Roxanne from “A Goofy Movie,” etc. That’s pretty normal… though I wouldn’t really call them “crushes.” More like, they “activated” something in me when I was a child.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “What is… the top three things you hate about Jessica?” - @17:15
ANALYSIS⌗
- She is one of the whiniest people I’ve ever met. Even more so than my mother was. She constantly plays the victim, focused entirely on her own problems, while completely disregarding the issues of others. Yet, she does this while “projecting” empathy, trying to convince others that she actually does care about them. She doesn’t; she cares about what they can do for her, and she’ll turn on them at the smallest slight.
- She is so lazy - just like my mother. You would think that a person facing troubles would pour their efforts into taking meaningful steps to correct those problems, but nope! She whines and sleeps and puts all of her faith into her personal religion. Her only job is to “wait” for someone to save her. She will change herself only after that happens.
- She is completely unable to integrate advice from others - just like my mother was. It doesn’t matter how many times you explain a concept, or how many times you offer advice - it goes in one ear, and right out the other. She pretends to listen, but refuses to actually take the advice. You just can’t help a person like this. She’s stuck in her own head, and it’s as if the rest of the world doesn’t exist/doesn’t matter.
Noticing a trend here? Jessica reminds me of my mother: the woman who traumatized me.
I think a lot of this comes from low intelligence, which is hard to fault. So, I try to accept her as she is. Some people just aren’t meant to be leaders. There will always be people who need to be cared for.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “Do you have any moles?” - @18:50
ANALYSIS⌗
No.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “What are you most proud of?” - @19:16
ANALYSIS⌗
I am most proud of how I’ve changed over the past two years. I was already proud of my career achievements, but these two years have shown me just how tough I really am. In spite of the horrible situation I’m in, I made the best of it. I set out to become a writer, and I achieved it. I set out to learn programming, and I achieved it. I set out to find the truth of so many of the world’s mysteries, and while I haven’t yet achieved it, I am well on the path.
Even in the lowest moments of my life, I continued to do what is right and correct for the world. And I am so proud to see that my efforts were not in vain. This thing I’m a part of is real, even if I am confused about many of the specifics.
I have turned myself into something that The Raven could love - even knowing that she would have loved me as I was, two years ago. I changed, for her. I’ve never done that for anybody.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “How much debt do you have?” - @19:31
ANALYSIS⌗
$3200 left on a loan that I took out for my mother’s medical expenses, years ago.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “Do you miss your ex?” - @19:56
ANALYSIS⌗
No. She’s married now. I hope she’s well.
I do dream about her, sometimes. I dream about the home I grew up in quite a lot.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “Have you ever tried to eat your boogers or earwax?” - @20:21
ANALYSIS⌗
Both. That’s definitely not a habit, though.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “Have you ever tried anybody else’s?” - @20:45
ANALYSIS⌗
No.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “Do you believe in the death penalty?” - @20:56
ANALYSIS⌗
Yes. I think there are just some people who are too far gone to save.
That said, I also believe in euthanasia. People should have the right to end their own suffering. Especially relating to people serving life sentences; what is the point? Is the goal truly to inflict lifelong punishment, simply for the sake of making them suffer? I understand that they’ve done horrible things, but I feel like those resources would be better-spent on addressing the root of the problem - rather than retribution.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “What is your most shameful experience?” - @21:25
ANALYSIS⌗
Putting all of my secrets on this website is pretty embarrassing. Especially because I know that, if/when this becomes public knowledge, I’m going to be blamed for things far beyond what I actually did.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “What conspiracy theories do you believe in?” - @21:43
ANALYSIS⌗
I’m open to quite a lot of them. However, given my current situation, I am heavily-inclined to believe that the world is being run by “The One Ring to Rule Them All.”
And with that, I’m far more inclined to consider related conspiracies, such as QAnon.
Of course, I think it’s mostly misinformation. This is false information that has seeds of truth hidden throughout.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “How much money is in your bank account right now?” - @22:23
ANALYSIS⌗
$8500, and dwindling quickly. I liquidated my 401k for this money.
So, I really hope someone plans to help me soon…
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “Do you have an eating disorder?” - @23:02
ANALYSIS⌗
Not really. I usually eat only one meal per day, so I guess that might be something.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “What has been the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever been caught in the action of doing?” - @23:29
ANALYSIS⌗
I’ll never forget the time that my roommate, Will, came home, drunk, and let himself into my office without knocking. He certainly saw something unexpected. While he played it off well, and we never talked about it… he knew. He definitely knew.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “What is the meanest comment you’ve ever left on somebody’s web page?” - @24:01
ANALYSIS⌗
I generally don’t leave mean comments. Though I did leave this one recently.
I’ve grown ever-frustrated with the deepities that come from The Atlas' channel. Clearly, he’s trying to make himself into some kind of spiritual guru, but the kinds of things he says are just meaningless, confusing platitudes meant to sound like intelligence.
He posted, “the real purpose of spiritual endeavor is to purify conditioning to primordial oneness.”
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
To demonstrate how ridiculous it sounded, I simply rearranged all of the words, and posted my own sentence, “The primordial conditioning to spiritual oneness is to purify purpose of real.”
It sounds every bit as ridiculous.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “Do you watch ASMR at all? And, if so, what is the weirdest ASMR video that you enjoy watching?” - @24:41
ANALYSIS⌗
Obviously, I do. The weirdest I’ve watched recently was somebody playing with kinetic sand. While I generally don’t feel “tingles,” this one was doing it for me, for some reason.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “What about you, specifically, do you think that other people… find most attractive about you?” - @25:14
ANALYSIS⌗
For a long time, I was rather mysterious and anonymous. I think a lot of people projected their own ideas onto me - sort of developing their own reasons for following my work.
At least one person basically fell in love with me within days of discovering my work. She has been overt in her efforts, praising me for my dedication to this cause.
I hope The Raven will feel the same. My dedication is probably my most attractive trait.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “Are you secretly jealous of any of your friends?” - @25:50
ANALYSIS⌗
I don’t have any friends.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “Do you worry at all about what happens after you die?” - @26:13
ANALYSIS⌗
Not at all. I worry more about the process of dying; those final moments, or days, or years leading up until death.
I don’t want to die in a situation like this one. I want to die having known what it was to feel happy, and loved, and fulfilled.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator asks, “What’s the nicest thing that you’ve ever done for someone… that you never told anyone about?” - @28:41
ANALYSIS⌗
I think I’ve done a lot of nice things for people, and I generally don’t tell anyone about them. I generally don’t hold onto those memories, either, because I’m not here to count all of my good actions. I simply try to lead by example, doing the right thing at any given moment in time.
That said, I guess the following was pretty nice:
Having discovered the Presley’s World YouTube channel very early-on in its creation, when it was very small, I immediately saw what she was trying to do. I knew that she was building a platform for a million “simping men” to follow her every beck-and-call. I knew that she was likely quite excited for the opportunity, and she’s likely to have a lot of friends. She has people who love her, and she’s probably very happy. She didn’t need me to do anything.
Regardless, I knew that she would likely grow tired of being treated like some kind of fantasy. For some women (certainly not all), I imagine it would be tiring to have a million people constantly professing their love for you. Especially in the form of YouTube comments, where the praise is generally short and effortless; the praise is meaningless and easy, quickly blending into every other comment.
I decided to help her grow her channel, but in a different way than most people would. Thinking back to The Thief’s first message to The Raven, I wanted to do something that would make her feel special. It wasn’t a love thing; I simply saw her as more than she currently is, and more than her followers perceive her to be. I wanted to show her that I, at the least, understand there’s a real human behind the facade.
So, I began to leave poetry in her comments section. In every video since then, I’ve created a custom poem that attempts to integrate her story with thoughts of my own; and for each character she adopts, I’ve created one or more characters that “wrote” the poem for her.
I don’t know if this makes her feel good, but I hope that it does. I feel like she has a lot to offer, and I’d like to see her platform succeed. I’d REALLY like to see her integrated into my own work. I do know that she’s taken-notice of me. No doubt, she has no idea who I actually am, and has difficulty knowing how to respond. Especially if she has a boyfriend or whatever, and thinks I’m simping over her (which, in some cases, it would appear as if I were.)
Regardless, this feels meaningful, and I’ve continued the trend. I actually post quite a bit of poetry, now, on a lot of different channels.
My hope is that men will follow suite, once I become popular. If they see that this “worked” for me, perhaps they will take my example to heart. Perhaps they will put a little more effort into the garbage they leave in the comments section.
SIGNAL⌗
The Exterminator says, “Jessica… she goes out on the street on the weekends… giving fake readings to people. She’s so ‘valley.'” - @31:56
ANALYSIS⌗
“Jessica” does spend a lot of time delivering unsubstantiated “prophecies” to her following. It drives me crazy, because she doesn’t have a clue what she’s talking about. At least, I can find no compelling evidence to support the idea that these prophecies mean anything at all. Maybe she’s keeping secrets, and these prophecies are an attempt to encode information in plain sight. But I highly doubt it. This girl is sick and delusional.
The “valley” comment is interesting, since it may relate to the Valley Girl concept.